Author Archives: Patrick

Well not exactly you of course, you’ll be dead. And not in terms of funeral costs, church costs, hall hire, catering, burial site, flowers, tombstones, etc, you already know about those. These are different. Do you remember the time SARS said they were raising taxes, and you replied “Over my dead body”. Well yeah, they were listening, and now have plans to take massive amounts of money away from your kids one day.

I invested really REALLY badly over most of my life.

For 5 years I was in cash. And not good cash that earns more interest than inflation, I used the worst kind of cash. Money in my bank account earning literally nothing. After I account for banking fees with my then stupid choice in bank I not only lost to inflation, but I actually paid money so that I could lose to inflation. Looking back now I can see that something was very wrong with me. Medically speaking I may have been mad.

I have a feeling this post is going to be one of the crazier ideas I’m putting forward. I’ve actually had it in draft for a couple of years now, but I think the time is right to post it. At the end of this you’ll either think I’m a genius, or a raving lunatic.

It’s been 6 weeks now that my wife has had no clients walking into the salon to get a haircut. 6 weeks with no income. 6 long weeks. You might be lucky and still have some or all of your salary, but plenty of people don’t. I’m sure a lot of you either have the same problem, or know people who do.

Now she’s a very smart lady (exhibit A, she married me), so she quickly came up with new ideas on selling pre-mixed hair colour solutions to her existing clients and selling mothers day packs to be delivered, but the money from this will go into the salon account, so she can pay her staff for as long as possible.

The western world once thought that all swans were white, because up to that point they’d only ever seen white swans. Then a Dutchman called Willem de Vlamingh took a boat to Australia and while trying unsuccessfully to catch an Aussie, discovered a black swan instead, and changed zoology profoundly forever.

I’m fine, just rather busy at the moment. The week before last I was in Mozambique looking at the situation 1 year since Cyclone Idai, and since then I’ve been hugely snowed under in activities and preparations related to COVID-19.

I do have a blog on how I’m dealing with the markets at the moment, but the short version is, I’m not concerned and doing what I’ve always been doing. Hopefully the longer version will come out soon.

Until then, wash your hands often, try not to touch your face, and enjoy some time at home 🙂

When I was a young kid, my mom used to buy my brother and I those big party-sized bags of Chomps, obviously trying to turn us into big strong hippos as the advertising suggested. There was an unspoken agreement that we had to share equally, and usually when my brother went to get one, he’d ask me if I wanted one.

After a while, I got an idea. If I skipped a turn, the next time my brother went to get one, I could have two and feel really indulgent. After a while I’d skip two turns, then three so I could stuff my face with 4 chomps the next time my brother only got one.